Acceptance. For now.

Acceptance. For now. Written 4 minutes ago by Amanda Berbig Tomorrow is the big BMT discussion with the doctor. We’ve been anxiously dreading this conversation. If I understand clearly, Dr. Burns will be explaining what’s next, how it’s done, how long it takes, what we can expect, ect., ... Anyway, I wanted to get this written, to preserve my thoughts and feelings for posterity, before we have that conversation, in case it changes our whole outlook. Whatever happens tomorrow or down the road, I’m beginning to feel like I understand some of this disease, as it relates to how we live our life. Many of them are in fact good. The dogs are going to get bathed more frequently, and so are the kids. The house has certainly taken a turn in the right direction. Our girls are working together better than they ever have… Mostly. Our bond as a family has definitely been bolstered. And among many other tedious things I won’t bore you with now, I’ve become much faster at typing. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I’ve started to accept this for what it is. Early on I thought I accepted it, but didn’t begin to understand what it was I was accepting. With some aspects of our life there are vast changes, others, not so much. There are, however, very few arenas that will go completely unscathed by this. That’s reality and I’m learning to accept. It’s not okay yet, but it’s on the verge of tolerable. Having her home the last few days has gone a long way, for the girls and me, toward realizing that life does go on. Today all five of us went to the school picnic. Amanda had to wear a scarf over her head, lots of sunscreen, and a mask over her face, but we went just the same, and we all had a good time. We just keep moving forward, one day at a time, and hoping and praying for a good outcome. Enough for tonight. I’ll letcha’ know what we learn tomorrow. -Z