Support Amanda

Wednesday, April 18, 2012 11:15 PM, CDT

The only thing sad about the Rolling Stones is that they're still performing

It's funny what triggers an emotional moment with an experience such as this. For the first several days, just talking on the phone to someone and explaining what was beginning to happen would lead to a fit of tears and a quivering lip. After having that conversation to a thousand people though, while still somber and serious, it doesn’t seem to be as tough to get the words out. But there are obviously things that I see or hear or talk about that make my eyes well up. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

The other day Sophie was talking to another patient at the hospital. Just small talk, but clearly entertaining for the woman. Sophie noticed the disconnected i.v. in her arm and said something along the lines of, ‘Where are your tubes? My Mommy has lots of tubes sticking out of her right now.’ That one got me. I think it would’ve gotten a lot of people. But today, I’m driving home with the kids and The Rolling Stones, You Can’t Always Get What You Want, comes on the radio, and I just started balling. What the heck!?! It’s not a song about cancer. I’ve never felt strongly about it one way or another. It’s not even a sad song. But when I began to sing along to the refrain, I just lost it.

The other day I was cleaning out the fridge, somewhat, to make room for the food generously provided by some of you wonderful people, and throwing away some old leftovers and came to the Tupperware with the last pasta salad Amanda made, which I can’t bring myself to eat or throw away, and just started crying. Normally I open the fridge and get happy something’s in there or irritated something’s not, but now I’ll often open my fridge and just get sad.